I overuse the word ‘intrigued’, but honestly, this time I was really intrigued when I heard about Toni Nagy and the two shows she’s presenting at this year’s Fringe, especially as one of them is a project she created with her thirteen year old daughter.

She’s a content creator, filmmaker, stand-up comedian and writer, so she’s a multi-talented multitasker, and both of her edfringe shows – ‘Go To Your Womb’ and ‘Grape Culture’ – tackle important themes. 

I spoke to her to find out more about the shows, what she’s expecting from Edinburgh, and how she ended up here. 

CM: You’re here with two shows, so it looks like you’re going to be very busy! Can we talk about ‘Go To Your Womb’ first? What’s that all about? Who is it about and what story does it tell? 
TN: ‘Go To Your Womb’ is a show I am performing with my thirteen year old daughter Adelia, because I am a masochist… I mean, artist. 

I wrote the show to explore my relationship to parenting and my quest to be a perfect mother – you know, the exact opposite of my mother.

I think when we have children a lot of us go through an existential crisis of self. We are haunted by the philosophical inquiry of examining our own personal programming and conditioning as we simultaneously programme and condition another human.

Some of us parent how we were parented and others act in direct opposition to our parenting. Most often we are parenting our own inner child by being the parent we always wanted, rather than the parent our child wants.

This story tells my reconciliation of building compassion and empathy for my mother through the process of my daughter’s critiquing my mothering.

CM: What themes are explored through the show? What inspired you to tackle these themes in a theatre piece? 
TN: Science has proven that intergenerational trauma is passed through our DNA. Our parents, our ancestors, our past cultures, all have a huge impact on our health, psyches and spirits.

The processes of healing as a society starts with the healing of our inner children. We all have a wounded inner child that needs to be cuddled and cared for. It doesn’t matter if you become a parent, we were all parented and need to examine our relationship to our parents to heal.

By playing out these dynamics with my daughter, not only do we look at our personal story, but the universal story of getting to know our mothers – to see her as a human and not just a role to fulfil society’s standards.  

CM: How would you describe this in terms of a style or genre? What manner of show is it? 
TN: The show is a comedy, because Adelia refuses to say anything “corny”, gets easily “bored” by my monologues, and sappy moments make her want to “barf”.

We use all the mediums to keep Adelia entertained… I mean, the audience entertained. Storytelling, sketch, dance, costume changes, props… so many props, clowning, games, sword play, she boxes me, IT’S SO MUCH I’M EXHAUSTED!

CM: What made you think it would work? What is it like working together? 
TN: Since Adelia was a baby, I have put her in my internet videos and made art with her. It was a way for us to bond, but also do what I wanted – since most of her life was me doing what she wants. 

Adelia loves acting, dance and performing, but she does not like rehearsing with me because, “you’re my mom and you’re annoying. And I can say whatever I want to you, and you still love me, but you put me in a bad mood. I also don’t like rehearsing for anything… ever! So, it’s not you, it’s me – but it’s mostly you. I’m hungry, will you make a snack?” 

As such, the hardest part has been getting her to rehearse the show. However, I also recently realised that Adelia does not need to rehearse as much as I do because she doesn’t have complex trauma, is not a stoner and has a great memory. She is just more naturally talented!

The performance of the show has been truly healing for me, because Adelia is so confident and doesn’t have nerves. Observing her authentic comfort in herself has helped me with my performance anxiety. She’s a whole vibe and it’s contagious. 

CM: Can we talk about ‘Grape Culture’ now? Is it similar to ‘Go To Your Womb’ in terms of its style? What kind of performance is it? 
TN: In ‘Go to Your Womb’ you will become attached to Adelia, a young girl about to enter the world. In ‘Grape Culture’ we talk about the world we are handing Adelia. The culture of grape we are forcing onto our children and ourselves.

The style of the shows echo each other with their approach to comedy, absurd level of props, costume changes and the excessive amount of body parts – yet with ‘Grape Culture’ we take everything to the line, and then cross it. 

The driving force of both shows is comedic, but ‘Grape Culture’ steers us into raw and dirty territories.

The medium of comedy is crucial to the energetic pulse of the play because I am so tired of ‘grape’ only being discussed with hushed voices in ‘appropriate’ settings – as if the victim is doing something wrong by talking about their experience.

If I was robbed, I could tell that story at a dinner party, and it would be a conversation starter. But if I was ‘graped’ and told that story, it would be a conversation stopper. We can’t heal grape culture if we don’t talk about it openly, honestly, and in a variety of different ways. 

CM: Does it tell a story? 
TN: In act one of ‘Grape Culture’ we examine the macro lens of how society has been framed by the ethos of domination without consent.

We pick at the scabs of the medical industry, then ping-pong to the flawed “boys will be boys” mentality, then trip our way into a psychedelic journey of what ‘grape’ is in this post #metoo era that has been coloured with so much grey.

We grab our #2 pencils to go back to school to learn about the historical context of ‘grape’ culture while also looking at how and why women participate. The show is not about finger pointing or blaming men, but rather unpeeling the consciousness of ‘grape’ that sours society. 

Act two dives into the muddy waters of our personal stories and how our individual experiences relate to the collective sea of trauma. Act three is when we swim against the current towards societal healing and the restoration of our own hearts, minds, bodies and spirits.  

CM: What was the inspiration for this one? Does it have a message? 
TN: For most of my comedic career I have been talking about ‘grape culture’, but have also felt censored.

Anytime I were to make a video about sexual assault I had to mask it, change my words and hide phrases so as not to be “flagged as inappropriate”. Hence the name of the show. It’s a work-around, because you can’t say the R word on social media – the algorithm will silence you. Which truly is the show. 

Even though I have still made many videos about ‘grape culture’ I felt there was so much more I wanted to say, but also didn’t know if the scrolling thumbs had the attention span or bandwidth to digest it. As a stand-up comic who is often performing to a drunk or high audience that didn’t consent to hearing about the lack of consent in culture – I often self-censored.

There was a fear I had of bringing something up that could traumatise someone that was looking to unwind or just have a good night. Even though I love to push boundaries as I comic, I also felt a social responsibility to be sensitive to those that had suffered grapey traumas. It felt like a paradox.

This show was an opportunity for me to explore all these thoughts and ideas around grape culture, but to a consenting audience who was ready to unpack our emotional baggage and wash the laundry together.

 CM: Can you tell us about your partner on this one, Sarah Buckner? 
TN: Sarah Buckner is a genius dancer, performer and artist. The first time I saw her dance, I was blown into another dimension. She did a piece – on wet grass – that was a prayer to the Goddess Ananda.

Watching Sarah, I felt like she was showing the audience the pure ecstasy of the feral feminine fucking the god inside of herself, yet not for your pleasure, but for hers. It was revolutionary to see someone move in such a state of trance, while being so connected to source energy, but also allowing others to witness. It felt holy. I knew at that moment I wanted to work with her. 

Sarah then told me about her past thesis work when she was in grad school at Duke University where she documented herself, in real time, processing her sexual assaults. She also filmed herself quitting her job after her boss and mentor sexually assaulted her. I knew that footage was priceless.

As I was driving home the next morning, my head was spinning with inspiration, I had the idea to do a show with Sarah about ‘grape’ called ‘Grape Culture’. 

I called her up and told her, and she immediately said “yes”, even though we barely knew each other. But when you know you know. It was like love at first sight, but art at first sight. 

CM: Have you been to the Fringe before? What are you expecting from it? 
TN: I have never been! The only thing I can hope to expect is that the people who come to the shows feel some healing energy and connection to us. I pray that conversations are sparked and fires of change are ignited.

I am also beyond excited to see shows and be quantumly entangled with the world’s most remarkable artists. I feel so lucky to experience the Festival with my daughter and make a memory with her that will be so impactful for us both.

CM: I often ask Fringe participants what they’ll be doing when they are not performing, but I feel as though you might be quite busy? Still, do you have any plans? For sightseeing or show-seeing? 
TN: Adelia, Sarah and I are going to see as many shows as we can!

I also would love to do some public ‘somatic shaking’ with people on the streets! Sarah and I are both somatic practitioners and want to gift people movement opportunities.

So many shows are going to be bringing up hard issues, traumatic events, and difficult feelings. Some somatic work and shaking will help people release the emotions stored in the body that we need to let go of in order to heal!

CM: Can we talk about you for a bit now? How did you come to be performing? Is it something you always wanted to do? 
TN: When I was in my 20s I was naïve. I wanted to change the world. I started with being a political activist, but then the 2004 elections happened, baby Bush won – again – and I lost faith in the political system. 

I then decided that Wall Street ruled the world, so if I wanted to make any change, it had to be through business. I decided to start a socially consciousness business, an organic fast-food restaurant, to rival McDonalds.

In my effort to get this off the ground I then started to have some health issues and found out I had a brain tumour in my pituitary gland. I had to stop in my tracks, as a failed female entrepreneur, and try to heal.

It was a long journey of self-reflection that ended in a ten day silent Buddhist meditation retreat. I knew I wanted to make an impact but didn’t know how. 

I have always been a writer, but I came to performing later in life. I was too self-conscious and didn’t know how to not observe myself or let go enough to perform.

I started experimenting with sketch comedy and taught myself about filmmaking. I made many short films and videos – learning about directing and the art of editing.

After giving birth, everything changed for me. It really opened me up as an artist. I felt connected to a strength I didn’t know I had and that is what eventually steered me towards stand-up. I don’t know if you’ve ever done stand-up, but one thing is for sure, you must have balls of steel, I mean… labia of iron.

CM: What have been the highlights of your working life thus far? 
TN: When people say to me that my work impacted them emotionally.

Getting messages from strangers telling me that something I said or did brought value to their lives. The beautiful thing about social media is that anyone can contact you… I know that also can be a problem, but I’ll take the good with the bad.

I have built so many beautiful relationships and connections through my comedy and people reaching out to me. Just knowing that I have been a service to others fills my heart.

CM: What aims and ambitions do you have for the future? 
TN: I am a Capricorn, so I could do a 45-minute PowerPoint presentation on my ambitions for the future. But in short, I want to keep creating work that has a social impact and makes people laugh.

Long story long, however, I would like to tour ‘Grape Culture’, tour ‘Go to Your Womb’, tour my solo show ‘Men, Come Inside Of Me’, host somatic workshops to help people get into their bodies after they see the shows, get my TV show produced,  and write and direct films.  

CM:What’s coming up next for you after this? 
TN: Work, work, work, work, work! Sarah and I are hitting up New England to do a mini tour of ‘Grape Culture’, coupled with somatic workshops so people can release trauma with us.

I am also taking my solo show ‘Men, Come Inside Of Me’ to the Cannonball Fringe in Philadelphia in September and to Caveat in NYC in November. 

That’s a show where I embody all the men that have come inside of me – both metaphorically and literally. I become these men, but also come to terms with the man inside of me that relates to the men who have come inside of me.

This show is ultimately about building empathy and understanding for all the parts of ourselves that we often feel shame towards. It’s an exploration of gender, sexuality and identity that intends to unbox the confines of these labels and expose the present truth that we are all essentially the same.

The flaws we point out in others we only notice because we see them in ourselves. My admission of my own issues is the key to which I unlock my compassion for all the men who come inside me.

‘Go To Your Womb’ and ‘Grape Culture’ were performed at theSpace at Surgeons’ Hall at Edinburgh Festival 2024.

LINKS: toninagy.com | instagram.com/toninagy