ED2013 Columns ED2013 Comedy

Rhys Mathewson: The last £10 you have to spend

By | Published on Monday 12 August 2013

Rhys Mathewson

So, it’s half way through the Fringe, you’ve got just ten pounds left to your name, how do you entertain yourself? Rhys Mathewson has ten suggestions. Other than spending it on a ticket for his show ‘The Best £10 You’ll Ever Spend’, obviously.

If you’ve already seen my show (and gone a second time with some friends who haven’t seen it yet, to really appreciate the whole thing), then here are some other great things to do in Edinburgh for ten pounds or less.

1. Go and see the Edinburgh Castle! For this to work, you have to be a child, because it’s £16.00 for an adult and £12.60 for senior citizen. Although I guess the oldies could try the Benjamin Button routine.

2. Do a ghost tour of all those scary/poorly lit old buildings under the city. Even if you don’t believe in ghosts, it’s still quite fun. Some say that every night at midnight, you can see the lights die in your tour guide’s eyes as they realise they’ll never be a proper actor. (I do realise the term “proper actor” is very much a grey area during the Fringe).

3. Go and see someone else’s show. Word on the street is that they’re having a blinder this year, and are well worth a watch.

4. Get a train to Glasgow (provided you have booked in advance and don’t want to come back).

5. Climb Arthur’s Seat. It’s free, so you get the double whammy of saving yourself some sweet dolla-dollas and being able to stand at the top and shout “I’m the king of the world!”

6. Go to Wannaburger on Queensferry Stret. Cheap tasty burgers and the best chocolate shake I have ever had in my life. No joke to be found here. I take food seriously. Very seriously.

7. Fold the £10 note into a paper plane and throw it, then realise that a £10 note is not the most aerodynamic of materials.

8. Buy two reams of Xerox Premier White A4 paper, so you can unleash an army of paper planes! You’ll become Edinburgh’s supreme paper-based aerial force!

9. Donate it to Waverley Care, a bloody good charity that is normally around at this time of year. Hooray for altruism!

10. Go to a casino and put it all on red! Repeat this until you’ve either lost or you’ve won enough money. But it will never be enough, will it? The thrill of the win and the chance to win more will eat away at you. You’ll lose it all eventually. Just like you did last time. We’ve all gathered here because you have a problem, Mark.

‘Rhys Mathewson – The Best £10 You’ll Ever Spend’ was performed at the Pleasance Courtyard at Edinburgh Festival 2013.