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Ian D Montfort’s Interviews With The Dead

By | Published on Tuesday 31 August 2010

Ian D Montford

Ian D Montfort is a spirit medium who only contacts really famous dead people.He lets Tom Binns eavesdrop as he channels one of the greatest dead writers that ever lived.

“I’m joined very graciously now for this interview, by a lovely gentleman, a playwright. It is of course William Shakespeare (in visitation)”.

WS: It’s always a pleasure to talk with you Ian.

IDM: We’re very honoured that you will be joining us each day for my spirit show at the Edinburgh Fringe, ‘Touching the Dead’. Are you pleased to be back treading the boards?

WS: Yes I am. I’m working with a great team – yourself and of course Norris McWhirter from ‘Record Breakers’ – who’s got a great part in the show.

IDM: Yes audience members can test him on all the World Records can’t they?

WS: Absolutely. He’s got an incredible memory especially when you stop to think that he’s been dead for many years now. It’s a fascinating act.

IDM: Do you think he might bring along Roy Castle with his trumpet?

WS: God I hope not.

IDM: I understand you were going to be appearing with Kirsty McColl but she’s pulled out – what happened there? Is it true she said that she didn’t want to appear in a spirit medium show at the Fringe?

WS: Yes she’s very sceptical. She doesn’t believe in it.

IDM: She doesn’t believe in the spiritual side of life?

WS: She doesn’t believe in the Edinburgh Fringe. She feels it’s got too commercial. The cost of coming up – even for a spirit – is ridiculous. The reason you don’t see
any ghosts on the Edinburgh Ghosts Tours these days is that the spirits make such a massive loss during the Festival.

IDM: But isn’t the hope that they’ll be spotted for TV – maybe a slot on ‘Most Haunted’?

WS: It doesn’t really work like that for most of the spirits – and people take advantage. I’m staying in Robbie Burns’ flat during the Fringe but the bastard is charging me a fortune in rent, while he swans off to Mallorca on holiday. And he’s left it in a right mess. When I arrived I spent my first two hours cleaning the mould from his fridge and changing the sheets.

IDM: There are quite a few versions of your plays on here at the Fringe. Will you be going to see any of them?

WS: No. They all look like bull-crap. I can’t stand it when people dick around with my work. If you want something ‘modern’ or ‘a musical’ write your own f*%king play. Don’t take the piss out of mine.

IDM: So what will you be watching while you’re up here?

WS: I want to see ‘Ivan Brackenbury’s Hospital Radio Remix’. I’ve heard it might be the last chance to go and see him. I think the bloke that does him has started to do other characters.

IDM: William Shakespeare it’s been an absolute pleasure and good luck with the run.

WS: Thank you.


“I’m joined very kindly today by a gentleman from the area I like to call ‘the world of children’s entertainment’ – ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls – it’s Rod Hull (in visitation)”

RH: Hello Ian.

IDM: Rod, although you are not booked to be one of the regular guests on my Fringe show ‘Touching The Dead’ you are still brought forward into our atmosphere very regularly by the lovely members of the audience, at their behest. That must be very gratifying for you, I imagine; still being so popular.

RH: Yes, it’s great, and I have such a fabulous time in your show.

IDM: Do you still do the act on the side of spirit?

RH: I like to, and I do it as often as I can. But without Emu it’s a lot harder.

IDM: I guess without Emu it is just a guy grabbing at people’s heads and crotches. Do they not have birds on the side of spirit?

RH: Yes they do, but Emu was essentially my arm and hand – and that’s here on this side of the divide, but without the puppet – that had to remain on the flesh plane.

IDM: Confusing. Do people normally get reunited with their pets in heaven?

RH: Yes, and the great news for the dogs is, that if they’ve been ‘done’, they get reunited with their knackers. They’re all here waiting for them in a giant warehouse.

IDM: Really?

RH: Yes, Tupac looks after redistribution. That’s his role now on this side.

IDM: Rod, one thing I’ve always wanted to know and goodness knows why I’ve not thought to ask this before of a spirit is; is there a God? Which one is he? What does he want us to do and where does earth fit into the grand design of the space and time and what is our true purpose here on earth?

RH: Well that’s an easy one Ian. The answer is staring y… cheeky per… monkeys for… Islami… favela… heir…

IDM: Sorry – you’ve started to break up. I can’t make out what you’re saying

RH: I want to… please… is that better?

IDM: No, the reception is really bad.

RH: I’ll see… fix it myself I think…

IDM: No, Rod I’d leave it.

RH: It’s OK there’s an… roof…

IDM: Rod? Rod? Well I’m afraid we’ve lost him.


“I’m joined very graciously now by a kindly gentleman – short in stature and maybe if you don’t mind me saying so, somebody who had a bit of a temper once. This man did make, I don’t mind saying, one or two mistakes when he was on the flesh plane, but was very popular when he was alive, especially between around 1939 and 1940 particularly in the area of Germany. What I will say before I bring this gentleman forward, is that over on the side of spirit there’s a very different attitude towards death. It’s more like a rebirth or ‘new start’. Death is not seen as such a negative thing here, if anything it’s seen as the start of a fantastic life on the ethereal – whatever – and with that in mind can I please kindly introduce this kindred spirit to you – Adolf Hitler”.

IDM: Hi Hitler

AH: Hello Ian

IDM: How are you enjoying your Festival this year?

AH: I’m having the great time, yes? I’ve already seen some smashing shows, London Gay Men’s Chorus, Reginald D Hunter, Josh Howie, Stephen K Amos and Ivor Dembina.

IDM: What did you think?

AH: Oh I loved them all, five stars! I didn’t expect to like them but when you get to know these people they’re not so bad. This is what I have learned now. Eternity can help put things in perspective. If I only knew then what I know now, I’d do a couple of things differently I tell you.

IDM: How do you spend your time on the side of spirit? Do you bump into any of your friends from the past?

AH: Yes. Churchill often pops by for a cup of tea and a smoke. He still teases me a little about the old days, “two world wars and one world cup,” but I also joke with him and ask him, “if you wouldn’t mind giving me a quote on my car insurance…” and that joke never gets old. I like that there’s a whole generation that think he’s a small dog with a wrinkled neck. This amuses me. Whereas most people still remember me for who I am.

IDM: You are brought through quite a lot by the audience in my show ‘Touching the Dead’, how do you account for your enduring popularity?

AH: I’m not so sure on this. I’m very grateful of course. Sky TV helps – there is always a documentary or programme celebrating my life. So a big thank you to Rupert Murdoch and his family for all their support. I think especially in Britain people just love a loser – myself, Raoul Moat…Peter Andre.

IDM: Adolf Hitler it’s been an absolute pleasure to talk with you and best of luck with the rest of your afterlife.

Ian D Montford’s show ‘Touching The Dead’was performed at the Pleasance Courtyard during Fringe 2010.

LINKS: www.iandmontfort.com